Pondering...

From the conversation with the working people that day, they said that I have to find the job that fits my heart's true desires. However, my heart's true desire doesn't seem to be able to feed me.

Therefore, I had to have money. Money, I was looking for money, hunting for money because I thought I don't have enough. What do I need the money for? I need the money to have fun, to enjoy myself in my limited life. And does that ideology of those at Lifequest fit mine? Yes, they teach people to become successful , to double up income, to treat everything seriously. And I want to make income if possible, but is it what my heart really wants?

Steve Chen aka Chen An Zi was the student of Anthony Robbins, and Chen Zai De was Chen An Zi's student. And they work 24 hours a day. Alll of a sudden, I'm not so sure, if I can accept this. Yes, I want to be successful, to find my way and not get lost in the currents of the realistic society. Therefore, I need an income, to establish financial freedom because I want to have fun. But in order to get that and maintain that, do I have to give up having fun?

Having fun is a waste of time, you end up an empty shell, with no knowledge or wisdom kept in your head at the end of the day. Yes, I want to be different from all those around me, but the idea of being young in this era is to have fun. If not now, when? When I'm old and cranky? They work practically 24 hours a day, they know how to balance it that they can take care of their family and earn loads at the same time.

And I've been playing playing playing for one whole day. It's not often I get this chance. Am I working me neck off to get enough money so that I could have fun without worries one day? Or I should just balance fun and work and live a normal life.

Don't want a normal life, I want to be free. Free of other people's perceptions, free of restrictions. I wish to live my hearts desire, to soar in the skies and walk the face of the earth. Maybe in the rural areas, people are more real and simple. The city corrupts the soul. Like Keong said, I won't harm others but I have to protect myself from harm. It's so tiring. If I could live my life without worrying about getting harmed, a nice and peaceful life that is free. I think that is what I want.

Might still have to work after I grad, for a while, but in the mean time I'm going to find another way out. They are right, living in the big city if you don't run, other people will eat you up alive. It's like all those subjects we learn in class, "grow, grow faster or other coporates will eat you". Everything is speeding up into a blur.

But I, I just want to slow down and take a walk in the trees. Lie in the grass and know that I can lie there for as long as I want because I have no pressing assignments that need to be settled immediately or meetings to go to. This is the life I want. Not big houses, but a house of my own to be able to contain all my things. Not big fancy cars, but one of my own. And definitely need enough income so that I can travel around the world, stay in each country for as long as I like without worrying about the money and learn their language and culture.

I'm twenty, still in college, but I'm about to be pushed out into the big cruel world...
Me and my dreams... Must hang on...